30th March 2007 1pm The day that turned my whole life around & upside down forever. At age 38, I was diagnosed with grading 1 or 2 breast cancer in early stages after having core biopsy 27th March 2007.
My first reaction was DEATH. I was floating above my body & looking down on me & my breast specialist – Katrina Read.  I thought I am not supposed to be told I have breast cancer, NO, this is not happening to me, I am going on holidays for 2 weeks & painting my outside windows on my house & how dare this happen to me!  I felt like I was in denial of what being told & I am supposed to do my painting first, then deal with breast cancer second.  How this is to change when your conditioned bubble bursts & you realize, hey Jo_Jo WAKE UP! You need to deal with this, this is really happening to me! – My windows can wait to be painted as I am not going anywhere; I am going to be here for another 50 years.

I first noticed lump right breast mid Jan 2007 before heading to bed. It was prior to my period due in another week & I thought the lump was my hormones. Period gone & lump still there, I thought ummmm make appointment with GP.  Saw GP Feb 28th, he was not overly concerned but gave referral to get ultrasound & mammogram. Ouch! Ultrasound & mammogram done March 9th, walked out 2 hours later with very sore boobs, well particularly my right breast as lump is located lower right side & very hard to get good reading, so lots of squishing. I went out that night & got very drunk to mask the pain & still sore boobs 2 days later.  Back to GP March 14th, with results, GP still not overly concerned but decided it is best to refer me to a breast specialist.  Saw Katrina Read Monday March 26th 12pm, she said I have small but good boobs as it is easy to feel/find lump.  She said from results there was no shadow showing but her sixth sense/instinct told her for me to get core biopsy.

27th March 2007 10am. Appointment at Royal Women’s Hospital. Had another mammogram, their equipment are more comfortable & I did not get sore boobs. Next was core biopsy Ouch! First injection did not take & had instrument & claw that took out sample still in my right breast.  Lying on bed in agonizing pain, sweats, about to faint & feeling sick all at once, the second injection took hold & another 2 samples taken (3 total) I walked out of hospital in a daze, felt like I was floating & back to work (Yes, I kept working) Was in pain 30% , but my motto is keep on keeping on.  Results back 30th March 2007 to change my life forever.

I write this as I am in Bali (Tues 26th Feb 2008) Finished yesterday a book by Marisa Acocella Marchetto called “Cancer Vixen”a true story & WOW what a lady & what a great read.  To think I could not have read this after just being told I have breast cancer or even the months I started taking the Tamoxifen as  with the cancer so fresh in my mind & it was too raw/emotional to talk/write/read about it.

30th March 2007 9pm. After diagnosis & many bourbons later I called Katrina Read & asked if surgery can be brought forward from 16th April 2007, as my denial & wanting to paint windows first as soon as possible.  Amazing how the fog lifts & everything comes much clearer.

1st April 2007 – Sunday.  I awake surrounded by my wonderful family & have decided that I am READY for this, I am going to take on breast cancer & I am not scared of death, not going anywhere YET, as I have too much to do!

4th April 2007 1pm.  Royal Melbourne Hospital for sentinel node injection.
My parents dropped me off in city & I caught the tram down to hospital.  Down to what seemed like the middle of the earth to these stark walls but friendly faces.  Doctor explained to me that injection would be painful & fluid/acid would be injected straight to where the lump was.  This was an extremely painful process & I let out a BIG yell when it was being done.  Then onto room where I was placed on bed where a half semi circle machine was moving up & down me taking photos. I walked out of hospital & onto tram back to city. I had a sore right breast & under my arm an envelope of readings to bring to my next destination.  I was calm, I sat on the tram & breathed in the smell of life, watching people come & go, and then I walked the last bit to the Mercy Hospital East Melbourne & admired the gardens that surrounded me. 
My Lumpectomy did not take place till 8pm that night.  I had to stay in overnight as was still being monitored, cancer was 12mm in size & had 2 nodes removed from my armpit. I stayed back at my parents for the recovery stage – 6 days in total.  I was physically fit but not mentally ready to be back home on my own.  My operation took place prior to Easter so results not back till later.  On Good Friday I took my parents out for lunch to thank them for their amazing strength & said to them how composed they had been.  Mum said she wished it had been her as she has 30 years longer to live than me.  We had a cry (this was our first) I said never ever say that, as it has happened now - I have never said WHY me! It was later on that one of my brothers told me that when I was not around, my parents did break down & have a cry.  They knew how upset I would be, so they were for me so calm & a great strength of support.

10th April  2007.  Katrina Readcalled me at 8.30pm. I had just arrived home that afternoon.  She said she had good & bad news to tell me.  Good news is that cancer was a definite grading 1 & my glands were clear so no chemotherapy.  Bad news was Katrina took another sample of breast tissue & it came back as abnormal/pre cancerous & she recommended a mastectomy/breast reconstruction & thus I would not need radiotherapy.  I said to Katrina this is not bad news to me at all, I mean the grading has gone down from to grading I,  slow growing & caught early & the fact that my glands were clear, yippee no need for chemotherapy.
The next week or so involved doctor’s appointments for mastectomy procedure & seeing breast reconstruction surgeon – Professor Bruce Johnstone.  We decided to go for the tissue expander as he said I have small but wide boobs.  I went to work for 2 half days before the mastectomy as I was physically fit but needed to keep my mind busy.

20th April 2007 7am. I stayed at my brother’s place overnight & he drove me to the hospital.  He commented on how composed I was.

I said to him I know what is going to happen & better keep my mind & body calm.  As Rodney left me to go we had a cry & a hug, but I kept myself composed.  I had my angel looking over me & Katrina who was holding my hand as I was lying on the surgery table, knowing I would be in safe hands.  I stayed in hospital for 5 days & I had a lot of PAIN for the first 2 days.

24th April 2007. Back to my parents place to recuperate for 2 weeks. So comforting to know that I have an amazing family & fantastic support.  After mastectomy I was mentally strong, but physically weak.  I think this time knowing were my journey is going with my breast cancer & now being in a medical world where technology knows no bounds.

May 7th 2007. I was back to work after 5 weeks off. Started on a casual basis, June part time & July back to full time.

31st May 2007. My first appointment with Geraldine Goss my Medical Oncologist.
Upon my results being sent from Katrina she said my cancer was a good cancer as caught early (we all know that cancer is EVIL) And there is no need for body scans or any more blood tests, but I am to be on tamoxifen for the next 5 years as it was my oestrogen making the cancer grow.  I walked out of the appointment with my Mum with a big sigh of relief & comfort after the good news I was told & to think it was only 2 months since my journey began.

2nd June 2007. Started taking the tamoxifen. Had a one page list of all the side affects, I read them & put it away.

1st July 2007. Depression started. Had weight gain & my skin being Yuk. Couple of weeks got these under control, but the depression lasted 12 days.

6th July 2007.  I had painful chest pains in my chest & like a throbbing pain moving around my chest, I called Katrina a few days later to check whether it was the tamoxifen is causing the pain or the fact that it was my nerves & it was!

25th July 2007.  Went to Tasmania for 12 MAGICAL days with my parents. 

August & September 2007. Two good months.

3rd October to mid December 2007.Was a very BLACK time for me.  Depression came back.  I was angry, sad, anxious, thoughts of suicide.  My turning point was the eve of my 39th birthday, I was crying my eyes out & I don’t know why? & to think that taking the Tamoxifen which I know is doing its job & reduces the recurrence of cancer to come back. But it brings these thoughts, feelings & being so low in your mind.
When I was going through my operations in April I put myself on a pedestal, so positive, so strong & then the tamoxifen smashes it all down!
I made contact the last week in October 2007 with a breast cancer support group in Belgrave called the Soaring Eagles.  I was put onto them my Uncle who knows one of the ladies – Marcelle.

4th December 2007.I went to the Soaring Eagles Christmas party. It is such a relief to talk & listen to fellow ladies of what we have experienced & knowing I am not going CRAZY after all.  I walked out that night feeling so relived & so glad I made the step of helping ME & making my door of opportunity open.
Christmas/December break 2007.I broke the depression.  I spent the holidays at home sorting my head out.  I have to get the T as I call it (Tamoxifen) under control & when I do have a sad moment day, I know I will have many more better days.  I have my sayings now – Number 1 is “May you find strength, beauty & peach each day” A painting of this is in my living room.

2008. I have more good days than bad – yippee I say! I have made changes to my work situation & work only 4 days a week & loving it! I am so much happier in ME & my work life too!

11th February 2008. Met up with the ladies from the Soaring Eagles – Marcelle Yoxon & Robyn Handisides for coffee & a good chat.  The informed me that the group has now disbanded & sorry for telling me this.  I said NO don’t be, as I am so glad I approached them & made the contact, as one door closes & another one opens!  I met up again with Marcelle for a pink lady fund raising event & a documentary called “Wade in the Water”.  I know the contact is there & meeting with them again on the 17th March for coffee.15th March 2008.  I attended an Advocacy Training Workshop run by Cancer Voices Victoria.  My mind wants to listen & learn of incredible stories of other people who have been touched by cancer.  A reading from our workshop -“Honour your own lived experience”.

I have a smile on my dial, appreciate that life is just wonderful, health is your wealth & my Number 2 saying is “Enjoy today, let life be kind to you”